Dear Working Mama,
I see you.
I see you when you are working all hours of the night trying to finish that work project by your deadline.
I see you when you are rushing from work, so you don’t miss their soccer game.
I see you when you are crying in your car after dropping the baby off at the sitter’s house.
I see you when you don’t quite fit in at the PTA meeting because you don’t have time to hang around talking with the other parents.
I see you when you are checking your emails while nursing the baby to make sure that you didn’t miss anything important.
I see you when you are wondering if you are totally screwing everything up.
I see you.
I promise that you are not screwing it all up.
I promise that you are setting a good example by showing your kids what a hard-working mom looks like.
I promise that all the work you are putting in will pay off in the end.
I promise that all the tears and disappointments don’t compare to all of the good memories that your children have of you.
I promise that those babies know that they are loved by you.
A fellow working mom
Whether you work from home or work outside of the home, being a working mom can be challenging to say the least. Everything from balancing the time that you are working with the time that you are spending with your family to the guilt that comes from working when you have kids.
The Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is such a real thing!
I feel an enormous amount of guilt around the fact that I work outside of the home. I leave by 7:00 a.m., usually when my oldest is still asleep, or just waking up to say goodbye to me and I don’t get home until 5:45 p.m. I feel like I barely get to see my kids during the week.
I feel guilty that I drop my toddler off at the sitter’s house every morning and that the sitter gets to spend the majority of the day playing her, bonding with her and teaching her. Those are things that I should be doing as her mom.
I feel guilty that I cannot attend every single thing at my daughter’s school. I do my best to make all the field trips, performances, and parties, but I cannot be there just the chit chat with the other parents after dropping off or before picking up. I have to pass on a lot of the extracurriculars simply because I don’t get home in time to take her.
I feel guilty when I want to take time at home to work on my blog while they are awake. But sometimes I am too tired to work on it after they are asleep.
The disappointment that comes with being a working mom can be hard to deal with. Disappointing your children when you can’t say yes to something or disappointing yourself when you have to work late again and miss time at home with your family. It is something that we all must learn to deal with as working moms.
The sheer exhaustion that can consume you, especially when your kids are little can be challenging. If you have a baby that doesn’t sleep well, and you have to get up early in the morning to get ready for work, it can feel like you are in zombie mode for most of your days.
I am all too familiar with this state of being. Neither of my girls are great sleepers and constantly wake during the night and I wake up early to leave for work.
Just know that the exhaustion doesn’t last forever. Eventually your babies will sleep through the night, which means that you will be getting more rest, too.
There is also an element of heartbreak from time to time. For me, it often hits when I see my little girl run into the arms of the sitter and so easily says “Bye mama. Have good day!” Part of me is thankful that she loves her sitter and that her sitter treats my daughter like her own, but the other part of my feels complete heartbreak that there is another woman who mothers my daughter while I’m at work.
It breaks my heart when I cannot be the one to pick up and drop off my oldest at school (although I am very happy that she gets some daddy-daughter time before and after school).
How to Make the Most of the Time That You Are Home
Being a working mom, I know that you want to be able to make the most of the time that you have with your family. Here are a few tips and tricks to help you make the most of your time when you are home.
- Put your phone down. I know that this can be a hard one for most people, but it really does make a huge difference when playing with your kids or spending any time with them if you are not constantly checking your phone. You will feel more connected to them and they will feel more connection to you if you are 100% present when you are spending time your kids. And the same goes for your husband, too!
- Leave work at work. If you have a bad day at work, don’t bring your frustrations home. Your kids don’t know that you had a bad day at work and they won’t understand why something that happened at work is making you upset with them. This takes a good deal of self-control and discipline, but I promise that it will really be worth it to not take out any frustrations from work on your family.
- Don’t feel like you have to say “yes” to every invite or request for help. I know that as a working mom, sometimes we tend to want to say “yes” to every project, performance, and play date to make up for the time that we are at work, but in reality, saying “yes” to everything will just exhaust you and stress you out rather than making you feel accomplished or engaged.
- Wake up early. Getting up even 20-30 minutes before your kids to have some quiet time to read, drink your coffee, or whatever you do in the morning will make you a more calm and happier mama who is ready to conquer the day!
- Schedule your extra-curriculars. When you have extra things going on outside of work and school, it is so helpful to keep a calendar or schedule that you can refer to daily to make sure that you don’t miss anything.
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